Years ago I wrote on my book blog about having Imposter Syndrome.
“Imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters‘ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence.” – Harvard Business Review
This is feeling and/or anxiety I have had for a long long time and probably has only gotten worse in the last two years. Essentially, being a stay at home mom.. has really spearheaded this feeling. As well, as the fact that my 29th birthday is just around the corner… my last year in my 20’s and my feelings of not having accomplished as much as I had envisioned for myself at this point in my life.
One problem, i seem to suffer with is my interest in multiple things. I want to do A LOT, I like doing a variety of things and I want to be successful in ALL of those things. I am what some would call a Jack/Jill of all Trades. I know a decent amount about a lot of things, but i am not proficient in just ONE thing. So, I find it hard to master just one thing, when I love doing ALL THE THINGS.
Which leads me to doubting my work and feeling stuck. Especially, creatively. I find myself constantly comparing my work to others. I know, I know, Comparison is the thief of Joy, but I can’t help it. I get inspired by successful people in the areas I am currently pursuing and then I feel defeated when the projects I am working on don’t look as polished and professional as theirs or at least how I envisioned them to be.
and then the cycle begins. Where I don’t feel like I should be pursuing the things I enjoy. (Blogging, social media, Etsy, design, crafts, business, etc.) I am not as successful as I want to be, I am stuck, my stuff is just basic and not innovative and then I get depressed and I hit a big slump and become uninspired and have anxiety attacks daily. Until, I eventually get the courage or motivation to try again; but that cycle eventually begins again.