Owen’s Birth Story

If you have read Bennett’s Birth Story (here) or watched the birth vlog (here) than you know that it was classified as a traumatic birth. Although, i personally don’t feel that way… it was. Which meant that with my pregnancy with Owen we had to have more of a plan.

After my 36 week appointment it looked like Owen would be an 8lb baby. Considering that and other factors we formed a plan. I was a good candidate for a VBAC, but we scheduled a C-Section for his due date (March 13th) just in case, I didn’t go into labor. We really wanted to avoid a c-section since we plan and hope to have more kids down the road. By my 37 week appointment I was 2CM, which we were hoping was a good sign, that labor would start soon, by my 38 week appointment I was 3CM. At this point I started doing labor inducing wives tales, then at my 39 week appointment I was STILL only 3CM. We were getting closer to the scheduled c-section date, so my doctor proposed that we induce me. Since I was already 3CM; it should go relatively quick. Andrew and I left the appointment on the schedule to be induced that night, which meant we probably wouldn’t actually be called in until the next day. We were in complete shock.

We called our family members to let them know and we went about our day getting ready to have a baby! On March 8th around 8:30 in the morning I got a call from the hospital letting me know they were ready for us to come in. Around 10AM we arrived at the hospital and were settled into our room.

29472773_10155210027170248_6314579283582910464_n

I wasn’t immediately put on pitocin, but my doctor came in and broke my water to naturally jumpstart labor. This was a lot more uncomfortable than I had anticipated. But that is because with Bennett’s birth, I had come into the hospital already in labor and they had offered me medication right away, so I was pretty drugged up for a lot of the labor process. This time around I wanted to go through my labor as long as I could without drugs/an epidural. About an hour after my water was broken contractions started picking up, becoming regular. A little uncomfortable every now or then but nothing crazy.

After awhile I still wasn’t progressing and the contractions started to die down. So they hooked me up to some pitocin and had me walk around the maternity wing and after awhile I was just walking in a figuring eight around the room. However, they were a little concerned (but not too much) that Owen’s Heart Rate would drop everytime I had a contraction. Even after all of this I was STILL not progressing.

At this point it was midday and I was not progressing, the babies heartrate would drop every so often with a contraction and I was just expecting that we would call it quits and have to have c-section. My doctor came in to check on me and said he would suspect we would have a baby within 4 hours. Which honestly, I thought he was crazy. The nurses came in to let me know I was free to have an epidural whenever I wanted as the anesthesiologist was currently not busy. I wanted to wait a little longer as the contractions weren’t unbearable yet. Welp, about 30 minutes after that the contractions came on STRONG and QUICK. It was miserable. To top that off, between those 30 minutes the anesthesiologist ended up being with another patient and I had to wait about an hour! Inside my head I was kicking myself, thinking this horrible, why do people do this. I want all the meds again next time.. i should of just had the c-section, since it seems like thats what is going to happen anyways…

Eventually, the anesthesiologist arrived and bless her heart. She was SUPER sweet and very chatty, but in that moment I didn’t wanted to talk to her. Again, I was mentally having a panic attack about the fact that, last time I had had an epidural, I was heavily medicated. I couldn’t feel anything, but this time I wasn’t medicated. I had no medication was beginning active labor. I would have to sit very STILL while going through intense contractions and having a giant needle that kind of stings in my back. Luckily, my nurse was AMAZING and calming talked me through the process and although uncomfortable it ended up being manageable. They then did my vitals and found I was tachycardic. Which then led to me having to have a an EKG! It all came back okay, but definitely added to my thoughts that we would end up needing a c-section; it also didn’t help that they checked me and I was STILL only 4CM. After all that, after roughly 8 hours & painful contractions I was only 4 CM!!!

But here’s where things start to pick up a little quickly.
After checking me at 4 cm she had me move into a position on my side using a peanut ball. Owen’s heart rate dropped, so she moved me to another position. I was in that position for maybe 30 minutes when all of a sudden Owen’s heart rate REALLY dropped. I remember Andrew and I looking at each other and thinking this is it, they are going to rush us into ER for an emergency c-section. The nurse came in and put me on oxygen. At this point I could tell Andrew was truly nervous. She decided to check me. I had heard an “oh!” and I remember i could kind of feel a wet tacky sensation, so I really thought, my fear of pooping had happened, but it turned out it was a blood clot and that within an hour I had gone from 4 to 10!

29432275_10155210026680248_6969864565647474688_n

So, we began the pushing process. No at this point I was excited but because I had gotten to this point with Bennett I really didn’t think we would be having the baby this way. Eventually, it was time to call my doctor. Nurses came in prepped the room for delivery and since my doctor was home and I was pretty close to giving birth, there was about 15 minutes of waiting around, where I didn’t even need to push, and we just waited. Once my doctor arrived I would say it was about 6-9 Pushes and Owen was born! The nurse old me to look and all of a sudden there was this little baby being held in front of me. I was in complete shock. I had just given birth! I had a successful VBAC! As they laid him down on me, he was screaming he was just contently breathing on me and all I could think was “you are definitely NOT 8 pounds”.

The experience was so surreal. The nurses were cleaning Owen, while he was on me. Andrew got to cut the cord this time and then they just let us have an hour with Owen. Which was nice and Owen was so comfy that he had his first poop on me too. haha Owen’s birth was flipped with Bennett’s. With Bennett the labor was so smooth and easy and the birth part was super dramatic. With Owen the Labor was dramatic and the birth part was SO easy. Really it was stupidly easy. Almost two months later and I still cannot believe I had a successful VBAC, but I do have this sense of accomplishment. I am woman here me roar, ya know? Also, I feel bad for Andrew cause the nurse made him look down there… several times!!! Just like Bennett’s birth, we vlogged it and you can view it here. Sorry for the lack of dramatic emotional music.

5 Books You Should Read for World Book Day

As a former book blogger, I had to celebrate this day in some way!

517rFED3fHL._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_

What Remains is one my absolutely favorite reads. Carole Radziwill tells her heartbreaking story about losing her best friends (Carolyn Bessette and JFK Jr.) as well as her husband (Anthony Radziwill) in the most elegant and raw way possible.

Buy Here:What Remains: A Memoir of Fate, Friendship, and Love

51DvS6wNGBL._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

Narrated by Death and set in WWII Germany, it’s impossible to NOT bawl your eyes out while reading this book.

Buy Here:The Book Thief

41fhbI2cyYL._SX321_BO1,204,203,200_

I’m going to be honest with you. John Green is a favorite author of mine and I would recommend reading all of his books. Paper Towns is actually my personal favorite, but a close second is Looking For Alaska; it is also a more universally enjoyed book than Paper Towns.

Buy Here:Looking for Alaska

51Za-iF33tL._SX311_BO1,204,203,200_

A Vampire story, that is WAY better than Twilight (and I did like Twilight) Richelle Mead creates a world you will never want to leave. So much so that after you finish this series, you will read the spinoff series as well and then STILL ask for more. Just don’t watch the movie.

Buy Here:Vampire Academy

41rEe4pc3yL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_

I have noticed that the books, I am recommending have a theme here… but really besides the tears, if you read this book be prepared to fall in love with Adam Wilde and then read the sequel to this book. You are welcome in advance.

Buy Here:If I Stay

10 Great Mother’s Day Gifts

Mother’s Day is right around the corner & honestly, although Mom’s probably deserve a day dedicated to celebrating them at least once a month. May 13th is that day this year. So if you are a Dad, a child or have a mama friend celebrating this day and you need some ideas for some cute and not going to break the bank gifts.. I’ve got you covered.

Number One:

Screen Shot 2018-04-21 at 12.47.48

Both of these T-shirts from Rad & Happy are worth getting as a Mother’s Day gift or if you are like me treating yourself, so that you can wear it on Mother’s Day. Tara from Rad & Happy has a lot of other cute merchandise as well. & maybe, I am being a bit over the top, but she is a huge inspiration to me. So, supporting her brand is quite easy!

Buy Here

Website

Instagram

Number Two:

41pjpZ6lxGL._SX387_BO1,204,203,200_

For an older child this is the perfect gift and the price is UNBEATABLE under $5. This book sets up prompts for you to fill out about why you love your mom. It will for sure make her smile and maybe even bring a few tears to her eyes

Buy Here: I Love You Mom

Number Three:

Not much of a writer or have younger kids who can’t yet write but can definitely tell you have they feel about their Mom. Than this gift is the one for you! Has all the sentiment while being minimalistic as well.

Buy Here: Knock Knock What I Love About Mom Fill In The Love Journal

Number Four:

71ayUZNB+1L._SX522_

This coffee has it all and is especially perfect for a mom to be or expecting mama again, who loves coffee and just isn’t sure how see will go about her days cutting her coffee intake.

Buy Here:Mommee Coffee – Quarter Caf, Low Acid Coffee | Ground, Organic | Fair Trade, Water Processed – 12oz.

Website

Instagram

Number Five:

Mom_T-Shirt_Mom_Tote_Bag_MAMA_Grins_and_Grace_lores4_1024x1024

In love with this cute MAMA tote by Grins and Grace, perfect for the Mom on the go, who loves a good farmer’s market or just always has a lot to carry.

Buy Here

Website

Instagram

Number Six

Mom_Shirts_Mama_Bear_T_Shirt_Tan_lores_4_41e8a1c7-f0f0-4aa6-abf4-8bf2b7e7f029_1024x1024

Another gift idea from Grins and Grace are their shirts. It was honestly hard to pick which one to feature. They are all great, mom-centric, empowering and stylish shirts.

Buy Here

Website

Instagram

Number Seven:

51zCDjvdvwL._SX373_BO1,204,203,200_

A 5 year daily journal with prompts for moms. This great for the mom who loves to keep memories. Everyday there is a question you can answer and as the years go by you can see what your answer was for the year(s) before and how much has or hasn’t changed.

Buy Here: Q&A a Day for Moms: A 5-Year Journal

Number Seven:

il_570xN.1422143428_dkb5

You have to love Etsy, I found these simple circular necklaces on a shop called DistinctlyIvy I love that its just an an initial and the birthdate. Although the shop offers a whole bunch of similar options.

Buy Here

Number Eight

il_570xN.1530357009_gdwa

If you don’t mind some swearing, than this glass mug lets everyone know that your mom is indeed the best mom on the block.

Buy Here

Number Nine

Screen Shot 2018-04-21 at 17.38.00

Now I will say right now this is the most expensive and not as affordable item on this list. BUT it is super personalized and sentimental. Plus the ordering process is very simple. Any mama would love silhouettes of their children and Dapper & Darling does it in such beautiful way.

Buy Here

Website

Instagram

Number Ten

Screen Shot 2018-04-21 at 18.54.18

Most moms want to relax and be pampered on mother’s day so this Beauty Box from Target is the perfect way to do just that without breaking the bank.

Buy Here

 

Hope these suggestions helped some of ya out and I hope that you all have a great mother’s day!

 

**This post has Amazon Affiliate links but is not a paid AD for any of these products. These are products and companies I have found on my own and wanted to share.**

Royal Baby Name Predictions

This post obviously isn’t about my life. BUT for those who don’t know me. I am a tad bit of a fan of the royal family and even look up to Kate Middleton as a role model. Also, for those who do know me, they will be shocked if I didn’t use this opportunity to point out that I am DISTANTLY related to both Kate and the royal family. Which obviously, only further intrigues me, about them.

I have stayed up watching live feeds waiting for the royal births (although, i doubt i will do that this time) and i was up all night watching the royal wedding. Which I will most definitely be doing this time around. And I just love names. I love looking up meanings of names, familial context for names chosen etc. So, essentially this post is just for fun. \

I don’t have the faintest guess on what gender I think the third royal baby is going to be so I am going to do my guess for both genders. When it comes to picking the royal baby names William & Kate have gone the traditional route, picking very simple british names and honoring family members with the two middle names. For those who don’t know their current childrens names are George Alexander Louis and Charlotte Elizabeth Diana. So it is safe to say any of those names will not be used again. Although, the predictions going around say otherwise. I will first start off with the potential names that could be picked and then end with my prediction for the full names.

Boy Names

  • Arthur
  • Andrew
  • Albert
  • Phillip
  • Spencer
  • Francis
  • Edward
  • Charles
  • Frederick
  • Ronald
  • William / Liam
  • Michael

Girl Names

  • Alice
  • Frances
  • Mary
  • Rose
  • Dorothy
  • Carole
  • Catherine
  • Victoria
  • Valerie
  • Ruth
  • Julia
  • Marie
  • Angela
  • Marguerite
  • Francine

 

My first name for a boy are between Arthur, Albert and Phillip. However, if I had to choose I would pick Albert, which I imagine they would affectionately shorten to Albie.

The middle names are harder for me to choose between I really think Phillip will be a front runner as it would be a beautiful nod to William’s Grandfather who is in his 90’s and pretty ill at the moment. It is also William & Charles middle name. My next two name picks would be Peter and Charles. Peter being Kate’s grandfather’s name and Charles being… Prince Charles.

My full name choices for a boy are

Albert Phillip Charles or Phillip Charles Peter

My top guesses for a girl’s first name are Alice, Victoria, Dorothy & Francine. Dorothy , as well as Francine are wild cards. Dorothy is Kate’s Grandmother’s name and Francine is honestly, just a name that came to me, It’s similar to Francis/Frances which is both Kate’s father Michael’s middle name and Princess Diana’s middle name.  Alice and Victoria also being strong choices and the frontrunners. Given their family ties to Queen Victoria.  It’s hard for me to really say which one I would pick outright.

Middle Names I like.. Rose, Mary and Victoria.  Rose is the Queen’s late sister Princess Margaret’s middle name, so it would be a nice nod to her and Mary being one of the queen’s middle names and having a long history of royal queen’s with the namesake.

My Full Name Choices for a girl are..

Alice Mary Victoria or Francine Mary Rose

Obviously, this is all for fun as I have no real insight into William & Kate’s actual name preferences.  But if you are royal family fan like I am, do you have any guess as to what you think the third royal babies name might be and maybe a guess at the gender?!

6 Weeks Postpartum

Welp, this is real life. Cause this week although I FELT like I made progress, not only can you NOT tell, but my weight went up. If it wasn’t for the sake of accountability and accuracy, I wouldn’t even hit publish on this post. But this is real life and how the journey works. I will say it is frustrating to know I am working out considerably more and to not SEE the results in photo form.

First we will start with the numbers…

6weeksPP

Than my photos from 4 Weeks

and now my current, 6 week Postpartum Photos

YIKES! However, discouraging it is to look at these photos and NOT see progress and to weigh myself and see weight gain. I know there are a few hormonal factors that are coming into play. Up until yesterday, I looked and felt a lot smaller… but as of last week I have stopped breastfeeding. For those who don’t know breastfeeding is considered a natural way to lose weight fast, because you are burning a lot of calories when you feed. On top of that if you are breastfeeding, your body will usually suppress whatever hormones you need/have to begin your period again. So, since I stopped breastfeeding my body is preparing to essentially start my period back up, pms, ovulation, etc. Which will cause bloating. So, i am going to chalk this weeks progress report to that.

With that being said, what have I been doing the past two weeks.. I upped my work out routine, just a little bit. Adding in some very light core work, doing arms with weights, stretching and the past 5 days I have made it my goal to get in 100 squats, as well as other leg exercises. Weather has been hit or miss, so not a lot of cardio. As far as food, been keeping it very light and clean as possible. With the exception of soda (i know, i know!).

My plan for the next two weeks and my 2 month mark. Today was my 6 week PP check up and everything looks good! Which means I can resume working out as normal!! YAY! MY body is still not physically able to push myself SUPER hard, BUT I am going to definitely increase the intensity and for how long I work out. Which honestly, makes me SO excited. I am going to look into taking a few classes as well. As far as food goes.. I am not going to change much… with the exception of increasing my water intake even more. I would say I currently average about 48oz a day (which for me is actually pretty impressive) and obviously decrease my soda intake.

Oh and one more nerve wracking thing.. since I am working on my legs and butt. I plan on my photos from here on out to be a little more revealing and pants less. Just so we can see the progress accurately there as well. The only reason this weeks photos aren’t that way is because our house is getting painted and surrounded by painters lol.

Wish me luck! And the next update will be May 3rd.

 

 

 

Anxiety & Nobody Likes Me.

I relate to the title of Mindy Kaling’s first book SO Much (I’ll Link it down below, it’s a good read). I have anxiety. My whole life I have had it, but honestly probably didn’t truly realize I had anxiety until my early to mid – 20’s. Now, you might roll your eyes, cause everyone these days seems to have it… but I believe most people have anxiety to some degree. Mine for most of my life has been mild and has only been triggered massively I think twice in my life. 2008 and 2015. I won’t go into detail about those events now, but both those events lead to severe depression and the latter leading me to go on anxiety medication. Until I got pregnant. For the past two years my anxiety has been manageable and has not required medication, but I will say this past month I have been toying with the idea of going back on it.  BUT that isn’t what I want to discuss. I want to talk about my main trigger for my anxiety.

FOMO. The fear of missing out, The fear that nobody actually likes me and the fear of not actually fitting in, of not being understood, No one would miss me, when I die and pretty much everything else along those lines.

These are feelings I have had my whole life & something that has been a constant battle to cope with. A lot of the times anxiety is just your brain telling you lies, or overanalyzing and magnifying fears and situations… but what if it isn’t? What if the fact is, I am just very aware of the truth.                                                                                                            People do not like me. More specifically, people I thought were friends or at least close acquaintances ( cause realistically I know not everyone will like me). People are purposely not including me and the truth is I don’t fit in.  I have felt this my whole life. Honestly, I could write pages on instances, where i have experienced these feelings first hand.

You could say, well you shouldn’t care and that stuff doesn’t always matter.And yes, to an extent that is true. But being lonely hurts and it hurts me more cause I am people pleaser.  I go out of my way to try and make people feel special, to organize things, to take their pictures, to throw them parties, to attend special occasions, to celebrate achievements, to promote & support their newest passion or business endeavor. etc.  I try my best, to be a good friend… or at least the friend that I would want. However, no one has ever done that for me. No one has ever thrown me a surprise party, hell most people are too busy to even attend something, I have thrown myself. No one has taken a candid picture of me, no one helps promote my businesses, or blog posts, or youtube channel.  This is beginning to sound like a pity party & that isn’t the intent of this post.

My intent is more to get to the root of the issue. Because you can’t blame others. You need to be able to take a step back and work on yourself and ask why? Because  if this is a majority thing, then the problem isn’t them it is probably you or in this case ME. So what can I do to fix me, what is wrong with me that people I thought I knew do not care about me or want to make an effort to continue friendships with me? One of my solutions, as just been to stop trying so hard, to please others. But I also, don’t like that cause at the end of the day.. I don’t want others to feel the way I feel.  But I am stuck, how do i fix this issue?

Honestly, I could really go on and make this a massive therapy session, with dozens of examples. But that isn’t what I want and this is a great example about how anxiety works. In my normal day to day I am fine and happy and can go about my day with no problems, but than something triggers my anxiety and I spiral and I am forced to face hard truths that I just don’t know how to fix.

Besides being real & raw with you, the point of this post is a few things. 1) if you struggle with these feelings too, you are not alone. 2) if you have suggestions to overcome these feelings (besides the typical meds, therapy, yoga, excercise.. all of which do help) please let me know and 3) if anyone I personally, know reads this. Please tell me… why do you not actually like me?

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

Changes coming for my Business

For those who don’t know in late 2016/ early 2017, I started an Etsy Shop called Bolt in a Bottle Designs.. Since then a lot has changed and here is my statement regarding all of that…

 

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”

-Terry PratchettA Hat Full of Sky

In January I announced that changes would be coming to the Bolt In a Bottle Brand. Between that time I have welcomed a beautiful baby boy & have been plotting where I want this brand to go & how to achieve it.

I am a person with a lot of goals & interests. Sometimes TOO many & not all of them mesh well together.  When I began Bolt in the Bottle, it was just an Etsy shop for burp cloths I made, then digital invites, and other baby related products. It was something that I could easily do at home while taking care of Bennett. Although, i still LOVE those things. But now with a very active toddler AND a newborn those things are not as easy for me to work on at home anymore. BUT also, I want the Bolt in a Bottle Brand to be original content that i have designed solely on my own.

As I work towards that goal, I have decided to split the brands. Bolt in a Bottle dedicated to my original content and my Etsy shop that will have digital invites on it; as well as some handmade crafts occasionally.  I also, intend on beginning a Disney inspired Brand as well in the near future. I am just still trying to figure out a name for it though.

With that being said, the Original content that I would like to be on Bolt in the Bottle is still in the process of being developed but hopefully within the next few months, I will have items made and ready for purchase. Until then please feel free to purchase items from my Etsy Shop & follow both brands on instagram =)

ETSY SHOP

Instagram: @boltinabottle and @boltinabottle_etsy